“As a Father, How Can I Help Ease My Daughter’s Dating Pressure?”

Well, here’s a demographic you don’t usually hear from, but I have a question nonetheless. I’m the father of a 24-year-old young lady who is currently dating. I’ve watched my daughter go through so much in this parshah over the last four years, and it’s heartbreaking to witness. I’m not really looking to fix the system (although I’m happy to help), but I’m wondering how I can best support my daughter.

My daughter does well in life. She’s successful at work, has a group of close friends, gets along well with her family, and is pretty confident. When it comes to dating, however, she freezes. She’s relatively comfortable on the first two or three dates, but then she starts to feel pressured, and she isn’t herself.

The young man she’s dating now seems to have a lot of potential. He has many objectively good qualities, and she really enjoyed his company on the first several dates. She’s up to the sixth date now, and things are at a standstill. She’s feeling pressured to move things along, and I can’t tell if the pressure is internal, coming from the young man, from the shadchan, or from some other external force.

My daughter leans on me to help make her decisions. I know that if I express hearty approval, it will do a lot to allay her anxiety, but I’m not comfortable taking responsibility for the biggest decision of her life. I guess my question is: How can I help my daughter without putting undue pressure on her?