“Don’t” she hissed. “Don’t even try your suave act. Nothing you say will get me to forgive you. Why?” her voice was climbing in pitch and volume. “Why do I devote hours and hours of my life to your shidduchim when you actively try to make yourself the least desirable bachelor alive?”
S hidduch 238
Name: Suri Miller
Number of Dates: 2
Who Said No: Me
Why: Hard to talk to a girl with the conversational skills of a potted plant
Notes: Why do I keep believing the shadchanim who say I can’t tell anything from a first date? A second date following a lousy first date is always even lousier than the first
I started my Dud Dates Database (a.k.a. DDD) back at shidduch 22 — or maybe it was 23. That was right after some shadchan redt me to a Miriam Goldstein. Dad made a call or two to make sure she wasn’t an alien — Mom was already post-stroke and out of the picture — and I said yes. Two hours later, a livid shadchan called back, asking why I was making a laughingstock of her, agreeing to date a girl I’d nixed just a few months before.
Three things happened after that. Devora announced she was taking over my shidduch inquiries; I started the DDD; and that shadchan never redt me another shidduch again. Which is totally fine, because there are more than enough shadchanim, and I don’t mind being on the hit list of one of them.
Create a free account to keep reading.
