Cycles

The virtuous cycle is my favorite — and I assume it’s yours as well.

Webster’s Dictionary defines a virtuous cycle as: “a chain of events in which one desirable occurrence leads to another, which further promotes the first occurrence, and so on, resulting in a continuous process of improvement.”

In marriage, the virtuous cycle occurs when one partner is kind or helpful toward the other, causing the other to show gratitude, appreciation, and kindness back, which leads the first person to feel and demonstrate even more love and positivity, and so on.

Then there’s the vicious cycle. In parenting and marriage, this far less pleasant sequence of interactions occurs by accident. For example, one person corrects (criticizes) another, causing the corrected person to become defensive, avoidant, and/or irritable, making the first person feel rejected, displeased, and grumpy, causing the other person to feel even more withdrawn and/or irritated, and so on.