Deaf to My Concerns

Around seven years ago, I found myself standing on the sidewalk, shaken to my core. My intuition, that crucial compass that guides and advises, had been completely discounted. I felt off-kilter, like the world was tilted, and I no longer knew which way was up or down.

It all started on a regular Tuesday morning while I was getting my kids ready for school. My husband usually calls after Shacharis while I’m in the middle of the morning hustle to see if I need anything picked up on his way home. I saw his number flash on the screen and held the phone up to my ear, but instead of pressing the answer call button I accidentally pressed the loudspeaker button. My husband’s voice came blaring through the phone directly into my ear. I felt something like a small shockwave course through my ear, and I quickly turned the loudspeaker off.

After a short conversation, I put the phone down and realized my ear felt weird. Throughout the day, it reverberated with an uncomfortable ringing sound that wouldn’t go away. I tried to go about my day as usual, attending a shiur and running errands, but I felt distracted by the strange feeling in my ear. As the day progressed, I began to feel nauseous and dizzy. I relayed what had happened to a friend, hoping she’d have some advice.

“Ok, so you heard a loud sound,” she said. “It’ll probably just take some time for the ringing to go away. Try to rest up, I’m sure it will be better in the morning.”