Defensive Speech

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ike any Jewish holiday, Purim causes joy and stress. While the kids are in a state of high anticipation and excitement about their costumes, the seudah, and their shalach manos, adults are often in a state of high anxiety about the very same things.

There’s so much to be done on this busy day. There’s a sense of chaos and overwhelm. There’s also the pressure of competition: How do our costumes compare to the others’? How do our gift baskets measure up?

On top of it all, we need to coordinate Megillah readings and deal with exhausted and overstimulated children and rushed and harried adults, all of whom have had the wrong things to eat and drink. If one isn’t intentional about making the day a joyous one, it’s very easy for it to be a miserable one.

The Best Defense

Purim is a very good time to brush up on our “defensive speech” skills. Defensiveness in communication often refers to someone who — feeling insulted, attacked, diminished, or criticized — gets his back up. He responds “defensively,” either by attacking the other person back or by “defending” his behavior through explanations or excuses.