When a wife show genuine excitement and take real pleasure in achievements of the spirit she sends a subtle but powerful message to her husband
Poet and warrior, judge and prophetess. Reading of the life of Devorah haneviah leaves us puzzled. How does one woman display such disparate qualities? Why was she chosen to lead the nation? And how can women today, who are neither warriors nor judges, emulate the uniqueness of this spiritual giant?
If you want to unlock the secret essence of a person, place, or word, Reb Tzaddok HaKohen tells us, examine the first place it’s mentioned. The Navi introduces Devorah as “a prophetess, wife of Lapidos” (Shoftim 4:4). And in the words “wife of Lapidos” lies the key to deciphering this enigmatic personality.
Usually, a person is mentioned in connection with another when the other person has attained greatness. However, almost nothing is known about Lapidos, which leads the mefarshim to explore the nature of Lapidos as the key to understanding the personality, and greatness of Devorah.
In Mishlei we read the familiar words: “The wisdom of a woman builds her home.” The Midrash ascribes this praise to Devorah. Chazal teach us that Lapidos, Devorah’s husband, was a simpleton. Devorah Haneviah wanted him to be surrounded by holiness, and to merit eternal life. To achieve this, she would fashion very thick wicks (lapid can be translated as torch) and give them to her husband to take to Shiloh so that the sages could learn by their light. Hashem rewarded her actions by bestowing the light of prophecy upon her.
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