Disappointed

“I hate to say this, but I’m embarrassed by my own son. My friends’ kids are all successful, and their parents are rightfully shepping nachas. When they ask me how Ephraim is doing, I want to disappear in a hole in the ground. What can I say? He’s not doing anything? He doesn’t get out of bed till noon? He doesn’t learn, doesn’t go to school, doesn’t work?”

Ephraim is one of Shevy’s eight kids. The others are all doing what they should be doing at their respective stages of life. But Ephraim has always had academic and social challenges. Shevy assumed he was just a late bloomer and that he’d eventually come around.

When he wasn’t showing signs of doing that, she had him assessed. The diagnosis was ADHD, and the prescription was a pill to help with concentration. Shevy expected that little pill to do some heavy lifting: improve his grades, improve his attitude, improve his motivation, improve his social skills, and generally turn him around. It did help a little with concentration, but Ephraim continued to be Ephraim.

That’s not so surprising. Some kids with ADHD just need to be able to focus a bit better, but 80 percent of those with that diagnosis have “cousin conditions,” such as depression, social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, learning disabilities, language processing disorder, sensory processing disorder, and others.