Do We See Others Like They See Us?

The next morning, bright and early, the young couple and Rav Shlomo Zalman met the real estate agent at the apartment. Rav Shlomo Zalman accompanied them as they looked around the apartment, and then returned to his learning.

The following day, the young avreich asked Rav Shlomo Zalman why he had accompanied him and his wife to the apartment. The latter replied, “I wanted to inject some ayin tovah — a positive eye — into the apartment where you will build your lives together.”

That story clarified a lot for me. First, my role as a grandfather. My job is to notice every wondrous thing that any grandchild does or any positive trait that they display, and inform his or her parents of my findings.

It also helped me understand another benefit of the programs like Kesher Yehudi and Be A Mensch, which bring young avreichim and their families together with secular Jews. One of my sons has volunteered in the Kesher Yehudi mechinah program for several years. He told me this past Shabbos that he has been very impressed with the almost uniformly high quality of the Jewish young people in the program, a high percentage of whom will go on to serve as officers in the Israel Defense Forces. His fellow religious volunteers have been similarly impressed.