I t’s been 20 years now since I became the rav of Congregation Ahavas Israel in Passaic New Jersey. In those 20 years I have watched the shul grow from having one minyan a day to dozens of minyanim daily.
If there’s one lesson that became abundantly clear to me very early on it’s that you can never satisfy everyone.
Fictitious or hagiographic stories of angelic rabbinic leaders — who somehow answered all phone calls had all the time in the world to meet with anyone and everyone at any time of day or night who were always observed learning yet spent generous portions of their day with their wife and children and of course are the first to arrive in shul in the morning and the last to leave at night — are the most nefarious and formidable challenges in my personal struggle to be a rav.
The reality is that a rabbi can never answer all calls can never always meet limitlessly with everyone and cannot be expected to always be available. He cannot always be learning or even always be cheerful.
