Believe me— I promise you that I’m constantly questioning: Why was I worthy of this miracle?
hank you for your interview with Mrs. Charlene Aminoff of Gali’s Couture wigs (5 to 9, Issue 795). It contained a lot of inspiring material. Yet her interview seemed to convey a message (I assume unintentionally) that when we daven and trust in Hashem, that when we work hard and do what is right according to halachah and hashkafah, then everything will work out positively — the way we would like it to, or at least in a way that we are able to look back and see the chesed of Hashem’s ways.
https://temp.abovedemo.com/work-life-solutions-with-charlene-aminoff/
I am not qualified to give mussar or tochachah, but this all-too-common and dangerous mindset alarmed me enough to feel the need to engage. Hashem did miraculously save her daughter when she made a kabbalah to cover her hair. Do we know the exact reason Hashem saved her daughter? There are plenty of people who, when faced with a dire situation, have made similar kabbalos, and Hashem answered them with a simple yet painful no. Does it mean their tefillos and resolutions were not as valued by Hashem? Notzer chesed l’alafim (“Hashem preserves kindness for thousands of generations”).
If we link our bitachon, emunah, and hishtadlus to an outcome that meets our expectation or understanding, we are setting ourselves up for a crisis of faith. Difficult things happen that don’t make sense — not when they happen, and not 50 years later with hindsight, either. Only unconditional emunah and bitachon can allow a person to survive and thrive for the long term. Granted, it’s not an exciting message like an inspirational story that tidies everything up. Perhaps Mrs. Aminoff could clarify her thoughts on this.
I want to stress that when I promised Hashem to give up my hair, it was not conditional on Gali’s survival. It wasn’t, “Hashem, if you give me Gali back, I’ll give you my hair.”
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