Popular culture considers this a coping tool, but it’s damaging
Research shows that around 29 percent of people become estranged from one or more family members. Although estrangement occurs most frequently between children and parents — with children initiating the “divorce” most often — it also occurs between siblings. Those observing the trends say that cultural shifts have encouraged this strategy in recent times, although it has always existed. Here are some factors that have been suggested to contribute to the increasing rates of estrangement:
These channels have spread the idea that estrangement can and should be used to end “toxic” relationships. They have taught that children “should have been” overtly loved, understood, validated, encouraged, supported, and otherwise embraced by their parents. Parents “should have” provided the model and security of a conflict-free and warm marriage, and both parents should have exuded a serene and positive attitude.
The modern thinking is that children who were exposed to less healthy models were as abused as those who were routinely yelled at, harshly punished, or hit.
This childhood abuse is seen as largely responsible for the adult child’s current states of anxiety, depression, illness, and relationship problems. Cultural wisdom suggests that the harm perpetrated by an imperfect home and imperfect parents is so intolerable that distancing oneself from it is an understandable and reasonable response and many individuals have chosen estrangement as a coping tool.
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