Even Though It Hurts    

Even Though It Hurts

When in Pain: Guidance from Piaseczna

Rabbi Meir Kahane

Twas once approached by a student who was feeling guilty for how hurt she was by a family member’s mistreatment of her. If everything Hashem does is for the good, then what right did she have to feel pain, she wondered. Did her painful feelings mean she lacked emunah?

I explained to her that what makes someone a baal emunah isn’t that he doesn’t feel pain because he knows “gam zu l’tovah.” What make him a baal emunah is being able to say that even though it hurts, “gam zu l’tovah.” Admitting that you’re in pain doesn’t make you any less of a maamin. Emunah requires that you see the pain as l’tovah, not that you deny its existence.

In his sefer Aish Kodesh, the Piaseczner Rebbe makes this point when discussing the death of Sarah Imeinu. Rashi (Bereishis 23:2) tells us that Sarah Imeinu’s death was untimely. She heard that Yitzchak was to be killed by Avraham Avinu and was pained so deeply that she died. Nowhere does the Torah shower accolades on an individual like it does on Sarah. But how can that be? Her last day was filled with pain, so much pain that she died from it. Where was her emunah?

We learn from Sarah that it’s not wrong to feel hurt. Emunah didn’t require her not to feel her pain, only to know that it comes from Hashem and that it was for her good. Despite the fact she died from her pain, she is, nevertheless, deemed righteous until her very last day. Clearly, her emunah remained intact despite the pain she was feeling.