"To all family members of addicts: Don’t prolong your isolation and shame. Somewhere out there, there are amazing people ready to support and validate your struggles"
While I appreciate the many challenges that COVID-19 has led to and the difficulties people have overcome over the past year, I found the article “Happy Birthday,” about a woman celebrating her son’s first birthday and how it marked a year since COVID erupted, to be poorly timed and insensitive.
Celebrate your successes if you will, but do not celebrate the “birthday” of a virus that has killed millions and upended the lives of so many people. Last I was aware, there’s no one who celebrates the date of the outbreak of a war, natural disaster, or of a diagnosis — no matter how the experiences made them grow.
While the author has every reason to celebrate the fact that she has made it intact to this point, and that she and her family have come through safely, this should never have been shared in a public forum. For many, this time of year signifies a first yahrtzeit as opposed to a happy birthday. Having lost a parent to COVID I felt stung by this article, and the fact that the writer mentions two students who lost a parent did nothing to mitigate her words. As the author celebrates, I mourn. As she marks a year on from memories of AliExpress parcels cancelled or delayed, the wail of the Hatzalah sirens, and lockdown and all the year’s nisyonos, I mark a year of aveilus and loss, of mourning a vibrant and special father. I too encountered the standard nisyonos and hardships of COVID over the last year, and I too am full of gratitude to Hashem, but somehow a birthday celebration is not on the agenda.
R.W., Jerusalem
I read your feature “Down to the Last Drop,” about a woman married to an alcoholic, with a tight chest and tears in my eyes.
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