"Being married to an addict doesn’t have to be a nightmare"
Thanks for calling attention to the very serious problem of alcoholism, which unfortunately has infiltrated into our community. I also found the connection between wealth and alcohol abuse interesting. Besides the fact that it takes money to buy expensive liquors, it also shows that money can’t buy happiness.
Several months ago, I was in the liquor store and the guy behind me was buying six expensive bottles of bourbon and scotch, which probably cost over $500. I wished him mazel tov on his simchah and he told me there’s no simchah — he buys this every week for his shul kiddush! How very disturbing.
With respect to “Sari,” who shared her story, I was shocked and dismayed that she didn’t involve her parents when her husband shared his history of addiction while they were dating and engaged. I’m sure they would have sought out daas Torah, and it’s quite possible (maybe even likely) they would have broken off the shidduch after doing so. It’s sad that Sari had to go through this experience. At the very least she would have gone in with her eyes open, some form of commitment from “Dovid,” and a plan of action.
Young ladies (and bochurim) out there — despite your maturity and intelligence, if something comes up while you’re dating, whether your date disclosed it or it’s just a feeling on your part, please, please, please, discuss it with your parents. They have much more experience in life than you do, and they have only your best interests at heart. Let them guide you, and of course, seek daas Torah together with you. No young adult is qualified to understand and make a judgment about substance abuse, addictions, or mental health. If you see something — say something!
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