An innocent young girl’s life was put through the wringer because he hadn’t been helped before.
I am writing in response to the young woman who grew up in a difficult situation and asked Sarah Chana Radcliffe whether she has to go for therapy before she gets married if therapy doesn’t seem to be working for her. She also noted that she is in a good place emotionally.
Let me start with this, I am from a warm, happy, and healthy home. When I started shidduchim, I was a real product of the home that I grew up in. I was carefree, happy, wholesome, and content. Baruch Hashem, I soon got engaged. My chassan was an amazing boy, with rebbeim and friends who vouched for him spiritually and emotionally.
But what people don’t necessarily know is what goes on behind closed doors. We got married, and from there it went downhill. Apparently, my husband’s upbringing had been far from perfect, leaving him with emotional scars. It wasn’t physical abuse that happened in his home, it was emotional disconnection. Once we got married, I, as his wife, tried to satiate his emotional needs. Without getting into detail, the once carefree, happy person that I’d been turned into a shadow of my former self.
I’d never dreamed that I would need therapy — but eight weeks into marriage, there I was. When we realized that it wasn’t working, I switched to trauma therapy. I insisted that my husband also go for therapy, and that’s where the story of his upbringing came out. It was a long road to recovery for me, and our marriage is still suffering from the emotional after-effects.
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