"Please, think about how it might feel to be undervalued, and often times, forgotten about."
There was almost an irony under the circumstances in which I read the very meaningful article about advice for singles. I read it on Shabbos, as an “older single” (in my mid-twenties) eating a Shabbos meal alone. I was sitting at a set table, eating my Shabbos food, alone, my heart hurting. This was not by choice — rather, it was a result of the lack of knowledge about the challenges of being single.
I most definitely try to maximize my time. I keep busy, have a fulfilling job, and enjoy various hobbies. I try to do chesed that I would not be able to do if I had a family. Yet I often find that my contributions are undervalued. Because I do not yet have the zechus of being married, my accomplishments are swept under the rug. Some of my initiatives have been unsuccessful because I’m “just a single girl.”
It breaks me to share that this was not the first Shabbos meal I have spent alone. I live far from family, and I write this letter to implore of the greater Jewish world: Look out for people like me. Extend a listening ear, a Shabbos invitation, validation. Value our ideas, professionalism, and contributions, as you would for someone the same age who is married. Open events to both single and married individuals. Treat us b’kavod. Marriage is not a privilege, it is a brachah.
Please, think about how it might feel to be undervalued, and often times, forgotten about.
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