“I was astounded to read your article on religious abuse. Not because the phenomenon was new to me, but at your bravery in printing this piece”
After reading your polls about shidduchim, it seems that everyone thinks we should be redting as many shidduchim as possible. At first glance that sounds great — I love when I hear someone has thought of me and redt me to someone! But many times, the answer I get is that the boy has so many résumés and is looking into five other girls. I get stuck at the bottom of the pile and never hear back.
What if we stopped sending so many résumés? What if we stopped redting endless numbers of shidduchim just because we want to feel like we’re doing something?
I know that sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. Instead of sending shidduch résumés for all eight girls you know to one boy and never hearing back, try to actually think which girl makes the most sense and send only that one. We’re not G-d and we can’t know who’s best for whom, but maybe we can try to put just a little more thought into suggesting shidduchim so the idea has a chance.
So many shadchanim just send every résumé on their desk to every boy. The boys and their mothers get so overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. Let’s pause, try to think of an actually good idea, and then girls may get a chance to go on that long-awaited date.
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