“I ‘accidentally’ left my sheitel in the car, so that over Shabbos, I was forced to wear a tichel”
To my fellow traveler on the infertility road:
You wrote an Inbox letter in response to a woman who said that she wished she could tell her mother-in-law that “her son is the one with the problem,” telling her that most couples do not have this attitude, but focus on oneness and view any problem or treatment as a shared issue.
Infertility has taken us down the male-factor route. As a couple, we know that this isn’t his problem, it’s ours, and we’re in this together. However, the world at large assumes that when a couple is struggling to have children, there must be something off with the woman’s biology. And when “My mother-in-law recently called me and nicely suggested that I go on this fertility diet…,” it becomes very tempting to tell my mother-in-law that “it’s her son who has the problem and not me.” While we know that this is our Heaven-sent “gift I wouldn’t wish upon anyone,” the world doesn’t know to see it that way.
With much love,
A Wife
In the roundtable discussion about kids and materialism, one mother said her daughter had social problems, and she made sure she dressed really nicely to give her an advantage. As a teacher, a few mothers have told me straight out that they dress their daughters this way to give them a “boost” to overcome some difficulty. Here’s the problem: It doesn’t work. If anything, it makes it harder for a child to develop self-esteem because she’s learning that her worth depends on externalities.
Create a free account to keep reading.
