“That difficult, extremely emotionally painful feeling of shame, of taking the blame totally, is the right way and the only way, the Torah way”
This article addressed a topic that so needed to be addressed. There are so many people who actually short-circuit, and may even discard, the teshuvah process because owning up to mistakes is so painful and humiliating.
The article compares the way we need to deal with shalom bayis issues to the way we need to deal with our relationship with HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Everything in the article is true when discussing relationships between husband and wife or any human relationship, since no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, do things that are wrong, and each of us contributes to the problem/situation.
However, a totally different kind of relationship exists between the Ribbono shel Olam and us. The Ribbono shel Olam is perfect and we aren’t. We owe Hashem everything, and He owes us nothing. Here, there is a place for shame, even though it’s so painful and humiliating to be so brutally honest with oneself and say, “I was wrong. How could I have done such a terrible thing to Hashem, Who is always there for me?” That difficult, extremely emotionally painful feeling of shame, of taking the blame totally, is the right way and the only way, the Torah way.
Rabbeinu Yonah, in Shaarei Teshuvah, clearly states that one of the basic foundations of teshuvah is bushah. The pain of it should cause an actual, real change of facial colors.
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