Although humans are an independent-minded species (just ask any toddler) they have an interesting quirk: They love to follow others. They want someone to tell them what to do — at least part of the time for part of life’s decisions.
But there is one caveat: This “someone” must be of their own choosing. The independent side of the personality needs to freely choose the leader. Hence we like democracies and other social structures that give us the opportunity to choose whom we will follow. We enjoy many informal opportunities to choose leaders as well: We choose our rabbi our mentors and other sources of influence or direction. Having made our choice we willingly submit to the policies and directives of our leader.
Potential Leader
As a parent you are a potential leader. Your child can “vote you in” or not as he or she sees fit. If your child does vote you in then he or she will look to you for guidance trust your judgment aim to please you and try not to disappoint or frustrate you. From your point of view you will see a cooperative youngster one who “listens.”
On the other hand if your child doesn’t vote for you he may very well turn his back on your commands and instructions. He will find himself another leader — his other parent perhaps or an educator or another influential adult or maybe a peer or possibly just himself.
