I tasted a great dairy muffin at a café recently, and it occurred to me that I could recreate it as a doughnut for Chanukah. Try it!
Making that choice is a statement. You clearly, tangibly feel close enough to the baal simchah to consider yourself in that shtreimel category. The feminine equivalent of this when I was going to my friends’ weddings was when to wear “long.” That system has long since passed, but we definitely have our own ways of conveying this sentiment.
Somehow, though, sending this message makes us uncomfortable when it comes to people who are in that “gray area” of friendship, not quite the inner circle. In those instances, said Rav Wachsman, don that shtreimel. Making the statement that you feel close to someone on the night of their simchah, a clear display of closeness, respect, and affirmation, will only result in good feelings. That’s the power a guest has when attending a simchah.
I think about this all the time when I’m trying to decide if I should go to someone’s event. Many times we feel like we won’t make a difference, the other person’s circle of friends is large enough, and goodness knows we don’t have the time anyway. But every single time I push myself, I feel gratified that I did.
This Chanukah season brings many opportunities for participating in Chanukah parties, community events (where we’re sure we’re not needed), and offering our help for a family
Chanukah party. If we push ourselves out of that gray area and into the close circle, our efforts to step up and attend or contribute will surely be appreciated and recognized.
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