“Helpful” does not mean inherently good or bad
Filters are important in so many ways. A water filter strains out bacteria-laden particles while allowing the passage of life-sustaining water. In our bodies, the blood-brain barrier allows vital substances found in our blood to pass into our brains while keeping out toxins. And of course, there are filters for electronic devices. Clearly filters are not only necessary but positive.
A filter separates something that is helpful when brought inside a barrier from something that is unhelpful when brought inside. “Helpful” does not mean inherently good or bad. Helpful is contextual, with who, when, and where being the variables. Ongoing commentary about your driving is helpful from your driving instructor but decidedly unhelpful from your spouse. Wearing a coat to filter out the cold is useful in the winter, but unnecessary in the summer. Family suppers are wonderful, but aren’t a suitable setting for a conversation with your daughter about a shidduch that fell through.
We need to create filters that maximize our physical and mental well-being. This doesn’t mean I can control what other people do, say, or offer. It does mean that I choose what to allow inside me. In other words, a filter is a boundary.
Boundaries create physical or metaphysical space, filtering out things (or people) you don’t currently want inside that space. Your front door filters out who can enter (or exit, as filters can be multidirectional). Ear plugs filter out unwanted noise. Curtains filter out light and other visuals.
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