Holy Revenge

AS Tishah B’Av approached during my first year in yeshivah, I found myself struggling to relate. I turned to Rav Moshe Rozmarin, (author of Devar Moshe) for guidance, and he shared two thoughts.

First, he told me, once you’re married with kids, relating to Tishah B’Av becomes much easier. I understood his words to mean that the love and nurturing that come with building a family take one’s sensitivity to suffering to a totally different level. After having hugged one’s own child, reading, “Should women eat their own offspring, the babes of their care?” (Eichah 2:20) takes on a heartrending new dimension.

Secondly, he advised, while it may be hard to relate to 2,000-year-old suffering, contemporary suffering is vivid and alive. When you read about the past, think about the present. Then use those emotions as a hook to connect to the past.

This second piece of advice resonated deeply. If I couldn’t relate to the Churban Beis Hamikdash, I could always relate to the churban of Europe. I grew up in North West London thinking that having a number tattooed on your arm was normal. I had heard horrific and explicit stories from my parents, teachers, and shul members who had actually seen or experienced the suffering.