Q:

I’Ma young adult in my twenties, living in my parents’ house. My family is extremely critical; regular daily interactions include lots of insults, put downs, and shaming. I’m more sensitive than the rest of my family and always found this very difficult.

As a young child, I numbed my feelings as a coping mechanism; this enabled me to manage in this environment, but also gave me a diluted version of the richness and beauty available in relationships.

Over the past few years, I’ve taught myself to get back in touch with my feelings and have thawed a lot. Although I’ve now gained meaningful relationships with friends and mentors, as I’m no longer as numb, I’ve started to experience a lot more pain.

I’m finding it increasingly difficult to deal with the very critical atmosphere at home. I’m also upset when I notice myself responding to others (usually siblings) in a critical manner. I try very hard not to do so (and often manage), as I know how damaging it is. Moving to my own apartment isn’t an option until I get married. How can I best survive in this atmosphere, without numbing my feelings, until I can move out?