“You are all standing today before Hashem…” (Devarim 29:9)
The Sifsei Kohein quotes the Midrash Tanchuma, explaining that when other nations of the world receive afflictions, they become angry with Hashem and don’t mention His name. Conversely, when Klal Yisrael suffer, they humble themselves before Hashem.
We know that when Hashem inflicts us with pain, it’s all for our good. He cleanses us in this world, so that we should merit all goodness in Olam Haba.
But suffering is so painful; is it really the only way for Hashem to achieve His plan? Is there no other way? Many seforim discuss this topic, but ultimately the question remains unanswered.
We, however, should not leave this question of “why” hanging. We don’t ask why, because there is no answer. As the tzaddik Rav Shimon of Yaruslov said at the age of 90, “You know why I’ve lived so long? Because I never ask Hashem why. I don’t want Him to answer: ‘You want to know why? Come up here and I’ll tell you.’ ” (Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski)
It’s always during Elul that my appliances revolt. Then we need to call the plumber. And the AC repairman. And the mechanic.
It’s par for the course, and I’m always grateful for these glitches this time of year. It’s clear I need some kapparos going into the Yom Hadin, and I’m thankful Hashem chooses inanimate objects as a lesson to me.
Like any normal human being, I have good days and lousy days. One day I was in a bad, bad mood. Two of my former patients who had graduated treatment for alcoholism dropped by. As I was still in a lousy mood, they managed to convince me to attend an AA meeting that evening.
At an AA Gratitude Meeting, everyone gets up and says, “I’ve been sober for six years, and my life’s been so much better; everything’s great, etc., etc.” And one after another, everyone got up to give his shpiel about why he’s so happy how his life turned out. This was not what I needed to hear.
Finally, the last guy got up and said, “I’ve been sober for four years. I wish I could tell you that they’ve been good. But I lost my job and I’m still unemployed. The bank foreclosed on my house. My wife divorced me and took custody of the kids. And last week the finance company repossessed my car. But I can’t believe that G-d brought me all this way, only to walk out on me now.”
That’s when I realized why I was at that meeting. To remember, as we say in Nishmas every Shabbos, “You will never forsake us, Hashem, forever.”
This year was no exception. My coffee mug slipped right out of my hand and shattered. Yes, it was from the set that I bought as a kallah, and no, they no longer make that pattern. Then someone sat on the door of my front-loading washing machine (the said someone claimed he didn’t realize the door would just snap off), and no, the door is not covered in the warranty I shell out monthly.
My car got a flat tire, and the pipes in the main bathroom have been practicing shofar blowing every time we use the water. More money poured down the drain (literally).
