"I appreciate the serious approach Mishpacha has taken regarding the recent topic of abuse and molestation"
I was so relieved and thankful to see Mishpacha publish Rabbi Lopiansky’s heartfelt response to the recent devastating events, and also amazed when I read about Rabbi Zev Cohen and the special Beis Din of Chicago a week later.
You see I’m not as lucky as the letter-writer who recently disclosed her history to her rav. Her rav cried. He told her husband to stand up for her and described what she went through as her own personal holocaust.
I cried longingly when I read her words: “You cannot understand the balm it was to see someone of that stature acknowledge the depth of the pain I suffered.” I cried because I’ve been searching for that exact balm for two years now, and still have not found it.
When I went approximately two years ago to disclose my own story to a rav, he advised me not to share it with my family members and to keep up a relationship with my family, where the abuse happened. And I tried. Eventually, when I found that I couldn’t heal without revealing my dark secret to my husband, and that interacting with my family including the abuser was too painful for me, I went to another rav. He supported my decision to tell my husband and to stop interacting with my family — but asked me not to use his name because he can’t afford the inevitable backlash.
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