Please,Sherlock Holmes, move over! Make way for many a Yiddishe Mama and Tatte who can compete with Scotland Yard’s best when it comes to “checking out” a potential shidduch for their son or daughter. Parents around the world share their investigative methods — as well as their hardest, nuttiest, and best experiences, along with several experts who convey their own take on the information-gathering process.
Not withstanding the unusual research methods of our stalwart friend most people conduct their inquiries through the telephone. Yet these investigative sessions aren’t the usual chats. They can carry fateful implications and should be carefully planned.
The first consideration is Sherlock him- or herself. Who will be doing the investigations? In some families there is one parent who takes on the job due to his or her conversational skills detective abilities schedule or connections. Other parents split up the investigations between themselves.
If you are playing Sherlock on behalf of your own child you must first gain a clear idea of what kind of shidduch would or would not be appropriate for him or her. If there is any particular trait or point that is truly important to your child make sure to find that out before you begin. You will also need to understand and consider your family’s sensitivities.
Not everyone has parents who are willing or able to check into shidduchim for them. In that case singles are often more dependent on their well-meaning friends who may suggest ideas for them without conducting the requisite research. In the case of Mindy* an older single who had no relatives who were able to pursue shidduchim for her she turned to her friends. This is what Mindy’s friend shared with me:
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