Is He My Bashert?

Mazel tov! Reuven from Yeshiva Yishrei Lev is getting married to Adina from Darchei Binah. Yes, they’re both my students, and they have their very own wild story.

Last year, while visiting kevarim in Eastern Europe, my pious talmid was asked to daven for a young lady looking for a shidduch. He went from kever to kever, pouring his heart out for Adina Tova bas Shprintza. Hashem answered with a resounding “yes” and you guessed it — Reuven was actually davening for his very own zivug! What are the chances? And here I am, writing an article on this topic on their wedding day? It must be bashert….

Spoiler alert: The concept of bashert is perfect for speeches at a sheva brachos. But when dating, looking for “Heavenly signs” will distract you from working out if the boy you’re meeting is right for you. So will wondering, “What if I’m giving up my bashert?” when you say no to a shidduch.

But if you’re not looking for Heavenly signs if the boy you’re dating is your zivug, what approach should you take?