Old-Fashioned Parenting

INthe “olden days” parents punished their kids when they did something wrong. It was a simple calculation made by generations of parents: If you punish the child for inappropriate actions, he’ll realize he’s not supposed to do those actions again.

Enter the modern era. A lot of new thinking rolled out about parenting. Here are just a few of the modern precepts:

• A good parent-child relationship is the key to healthy development.
• Love, acceptance, respect, empathy, and compassion are sufficient tools for raising healthy children.
• Children can be taught appropriate behavior through teaching them to problem-solve.
• Parental understanding, validation, and acceptance of feelings is the key strategy for helping children to be emotionally and behaviorally regulated.
• When boundaries are required, empathy, explanation, and logical consequences are the strategies of choice.
• Positive feedback is an important tool for education and self-esteem.
• Punishment is generally harmful for children and at times abusive.

These psychology-based concepts have helped parents do a kinder form of parenting. Today’s children have stronger-than-ever attachments to their parents and a more positive sense of self. And less respect for authority. And less tolerance for discomfort. And a greater need for immediate gratification.

Something good has happened as a result of this parenting, but something has also gone wrong. It seems that a steady diet of intense love isn’t quite enough.