Is shame the root of your baseless hatred?
For almost 2,000 Tishah B’Avs, we’ve tried to fix the reason we are in galus. And yet we’ve found ourselves heading to Elul still in exile. Why can’t we get our act together and fix the mistake of sinas chinam? What’s the root of baseless hatred?
We often find ourselves hating others because of shame. There’s the shame of imperfection, as others remind us of our character weakness; shame of inadequacy, as others succeed where we don’t; and the shame of being diminished by another’s insult.
Shame is uncomfortable, and we often don’t want to admit that this is what we are feeling. It’s much easier to hate and blame, to return the shame and accuse.
As we start shifting focus toward Yom Kippur, when atonement is achieved only through achdus, it helps to work through the barriers to love by asking “Where is the shame here?” Once we can own our shame, despite the pain it brings, we can begin processing it.
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