“Laissez-faire” is French for “let people do as they please.” Laissez-faire parenting is a style of raising children in which children are given more freedom and less rules. The laissez-faire parent (hereafter referred to as the “LFP”) allows children to follow their own intuitions regarding bedtimes study habits eating preferences and other activities. The parent does not impose limits or guidelines except in rare circumstances (such as directing the child to get out of the road).
LFP’s may adopt their way of raising kids for a number of reasons. Here are some of the more common ones:
- Rational parenting philosophy. Some people have studied various approaches to childrearing and have concluded that children do best when allowed to experience the consequences of their own actions. They reason that getting out of their children’s way (so to speak) allows the children to learn how to make their own decisions solve their own problems and draw their own conclusions. This sort of LFP has consciously and rationally selected this parenting approach.
- Reacting to overly strict or abusive childhood. Some people adopt the LFP stance in order to spare their children the pain that they themselves suffered at the hands of overly rigid punitive parents.
- Compensating for overly strict or abusive spouse. Sometimes one spouse is too cold too rule-oriented or too harsh on the children. The other spouse tries to “make up” for the lack of warmth love and compassion of this parent by always being nice or fun or loving with the children. Instead of applying the 80–20 Rule this compensating parent applies the 100–0 Rule offering 100 percent good-feeling communications and completely avoiding not-so-good-feeling communications such as instructions corrections saying “No ” disciplining and all other forms of parental guidance.
- Being “a softy” by nature. This LFP has a nonconfrontational nature and/or simply can’t bring him or herself to deny the kids what they want. This person might feel that childhood should be a protected time when children are free from the heavy demands that they will later experience in life — therefore if the child isn’t in the mood for school this LFP lets him stay home; if the child doesn’t like the teacher the LFP switches him out of that class; if the child isn’t tired yet the LFP lets him stay up. And so on.
Consequences of Laissez-Faire Parenting
As early as 1989 research on Laissez-Faire Parenting established that children raised with this method way had many developmental difficulties. They were found to have more behavioral problems less self-control greater impulsivity worse academic performance and greater dependence on adults.
Studies in the past twenty years have confirmed these findings and more citing increases in narcissistic behavior low self-esteem depression and a generally higher incidence of psychiatric conditions as well as a higher incidence of risk-taking behaviors smoking and drug and alcohol abuse.
