Life after Death

Moving beyond the passing of a loved one is always difficult, but grief can be compounded when the survivor is tormented by guilt. What’s at the root of this emotion and how does one work through it?

Though it’s been over 30 years, Lisa’s voice still cracks with emotion when she shares her story. Shortly after she married, her parents made aliyah. “My father begged me and my husband to move to Israel at least for the first few years of our marriage. I wanted to,” she relates, “but my husband had been accepted to medical school and he wanted to get started already.”

Two years later, Lisa’s father was diagnosed with a rare aggressive cancer.

“I visited many times that year but in my last conversation with him — and this is engraved in my mind forever — he said to me, ‘Don’t you wish now that you moved here?’ Well,” Lisa shares, “I don’t blame myself for not moving to Israel. I knew my husband’s wishes superseded my dad’s, but I still feel torn apart because instead of just saying ‘Yes, Daddy, I love you so much and wish I’d spent these last few years with you,’ I started defending my position, explaining why I had to do what I did. I’ve been replaying that scene for the last 30 years, each time wishing I would have spoken differently.”