“I think they’re a little jealous of you,” he replied. “You’re so poised and confident, and you have such a sunny personality, maybe they feel a little intimidated.”
W
When I got married, at the age of 18, the words “enmeshment” and “narcissism” didn’t exist in my vocabulary. I come from a family of four siblings, some of whom are very different from one another but all of whom care deeply for each other and would go out of their way to help any of the others.
I naively assumed that the same loving family dynamic that existed between my siblings and me existed between my husband, Nochum, and his siblings as well, and that I, as the new sister-in-law, would step gracefully into that dynamic.
It never occurred to me that I’d have any problem integrating into my husband’s family. Nochum had four sisters close to me in age — Yocheved and Chava, who were married, and Ruti and Hindy, who were single. I’m naturally a people person; I love meeting new people, and I was delighted to get to know my new sisters-in-law.
I quickly discovered that the feelings weren’t mutual.
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