GREAT READS → CUT ‘N PASTE Issue 1050 · February 19, 2025

Losing Control Before Hashem  

"You reminded us of what these prayers are all about. It was authentic”

Losing Control Before Hashem  

During a recent visit to Israel, I was honored on Shabbos with the aliyah of maftir and leading the congregation in Mussaf. The gabbai informed me that I would also recite a Mi Shebeirach for the people of Israel, the soldiers fighting in Gaza and Lebanon, and the hostages held by Hamas.

The haftarah that Shabbos was the story of David and Yonasan — an extraordinary account of friendship, loyalty, and courage against long odds, and a poignant prelude to the responsibility I was about to assume. When the gabbai called on me to recite the Mi Shebeirach, I felt the weight of the moment. Inspired by the narrative of David and Yonasan, I began reciting the prayer for the people of Israel.

Then I reached the prayer for the soldiers — “yatzileim mikol tzarah v’tzukah, yadbeir soneinu tachteihem” — asking G-d to protect the people of Israel, heal them, and defeat their enemies. My throat tightened; my voice caught. Tears streamed down my face, and I began to sob.

I couldn’t go on.

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Next installment → A Seat at the Table