If we mourn a loss, we can move on. If we get stuck in anger, it will fester
W
hat’s a good life? Some would say that it’s a purpose-driven existence, one in which daily activities are imbued with meaning, driven by the aspiration to make oneself a better person and this world a better place. The service of Hashem and the investment of one’s self in acts of kindness can leave a person feeling fulfilled and joyful. Hardships are taken in stride, subsumed in the larger picture of a life lived with focus and intention. But some people get stuck in the past.
“If not for you, my life would be perfect….” So says Yael to her husband. “We should never have gotten married.”
Lots of people experience a similar sentiment, regretting the decision they made so long ago. It took years for Yael to realize that her husband was never going to be the man she wanted him to be, but once she figured it out, she became bitter. “I can’t respect him, and it eats me up that this is my life now. I feel trapped.”
Unfortunately for Yael’s husband, she reminds him of her disappointment in him on a regular basis. Unfortunately for Yael, she reminds herself of her disappointment on a regular basis, too. Her disappointment sucks the energy out of her marriage and her personal life.
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