Mom, Again  

Have you ever had that moment where you read something that triggers such a strong response that you just have to say something?

That was me six and a half years ago, when Mishpacha ran an article titled “Rejected by My Children” (Issue 749). Most people who read Rachel Ginsberg’s excellent piece on the topic of parental alienation got quite an education on an issue that they knew little or nothing about, but not me. I had already spent two years living that horrific nightmare, and I knew all about the agony of having your spouse turn your kids against you. And while the article was incredibly validating, it made me angry, too, because I knew from my own experience that some of the expert advice presented was just plain wrong.

Saying nothing and letting those ideas go unchallenged just wasn’t an option for me. I constructed my rebuttal, which ran in the pages of this magazine one week later, trying to present things as logically and concisely as I could. I explained that parental alienation is essentially a cult, and casting it as anything other than abuse is just wrong. I shared the hurt I felt when people told me to just wait it out, advice I felt was both misguided and harmful. And I implored Mishpacha readers not to try to “fix” situations like this, because I had seen for myself how my husband had managed to delude the well-meaning askanim who thought they could save our marriage.

“So please — daven,” I wrote, concluding my letter. “Daven with all your might for the thousands of children in our communities who are captives in these horrible situations.”