My Daughter’s Still Single — and She Blames Us

My daughter has been in shidduchim for a few years. She’s currently furious with me and my husband, but mostly with me, for what she feels is a lack of effort on our part to find her dates. We’re a typical family, no great yichus or money or any other external draw, and, to make matters worse, we’re not from the Tristate area, so the shidduch suggestions are few and far between. Like maybe twice a year….

My husband and I feel that shidduchim are in Hashem’s hands and that our job is reasonable hishtadlus. We define that as going to meet shadchanim when they are in town, mentioning our daughter’s name when we are at simchahs, and sending reminder emails to shadchanim every couple months or so. We feel our efforts are better spent in tefillah.

My daughter feels we are being way too passive. She is constantly comparing us to her friends’ parents (read: mothers — she is so mad at me) and letting us know in the nicest way how we are falling short. She would like me to be on the phone a few nights a week networking with any and every person we know who might know a boy.

Baruch Hashem, my daughter is respectful, so she doesn’t yell, but in a way, her frostiness and disappointment are harder to take. Our formerly warm home has turned into a storm of tension that is creating discomfort for the whole family.