Just a few generations ago, bas mitzvah parties were unheard of. What sparked the change, what poskim have to say about it, and meaningful ways to mark the occasion.
At some point though when the weakened family unit could no longer provide that visceral education girls began attending school. And paralleling this recent need for institutionalized education is the need for parents and schools to explicitly recognize the bas mitzvah milestone conveying its deep significance in an outward way.
The notion of celebrating a bas (or bar) mitzvah makes its first appearance in the pages of the Gemara (Kiddushin 31a). Rav Yosef an amorah who was completely blind is recorded to have said: “If the halachah is that even blind people are required to do mitzvos then I will joyfully celebrate — for the reward is that much greater!”
Based on the principle that you earn more merit for performing tasks which you are commanded to do (versus voluntary ones) because they’re harder to fulfill later poskim stress that when a boy or girl reaches the age at which they become obligated in mitzvos it is appropriate to celebrate.
If that’s the case why the great disparity in excitement and hoopla between boys and girls with bas mitzvahs generally being far more low-key than their masculine counterparts? “When a boy becomes responsible for mitzvos” explains Rabbi Leff quoting a teshuvah of Rav Moshe Feinstein ztz”l “the change is obvious in the public sphere. He can lein he can get an aliyah there are numerous outward expressions of his becoming a mature member of the community.
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