Not What It Seems

“When we looked into the family, we heard raving reviews. The mother was a tzadeikes, the father a pillar of the community, each child in the family outstanding in his and her way. I felt honored and privileged to marry into this amazing family.

“At the wedding and well into the sheva brachos, the veneer held up well. I could feel the palpable admiration that everyone holds toward these people. Clearly, no one outside this family knows what goes on here. But as an insider, I can now tell you that the truth is very far removed from the public face.”

It often happens that young people fall hook, line, and sinker for the public reputation of others. Their youth, naivety and lack of life experience leads them to assume that public appearances represent private realities. They see couples standing beside each other, faces radiant and smiling, and assume they’re witnessing a blissful marriage. They hear about the wonderful deeds of members of the community and assume that the people in question aren’t only laudable fundraisers and chesed-doers, but also laudable parents and spouses. In other words, they assume that the superficial public presentation represents the deeper truth.

But while it sometimes does, it sometimes does not.