“And the nation saw that Moshe was late coming down from the mountain, and the nation gathered against Aharon and said to him, ‘Get up! Make us gods that will go before us….’” (Shemos 32:1)
Amere 40 days after accepting the Torah, Am Yisrael committed the worst sin in our national history: making and worshipping a golden calf. What was the immediate cause of Cheit Ha’eigel? Rashi writes that when Moshe didn’t return at the time they expected, Klal Yisrael erroneously concluded that he’d died, leaving them distraught and confused about who would lead them.
Rabbi Dr. Yaakov Greenwald, a renowned psychologist in Monsey, wrote a book called Eitzos V’Hadrachos containing advice he received from the Steipler. In it, he discusses common mistakes that people make, one of which is the attitude that for every challenge a person confronts, he feels there must be an immediate clear resolution. He’s perturbed not only by the actual problem, but also by his inability to respond.
Such was the case with Klal Yisrael. The proper response, writes Rabbi Greenwald, would’ve been to wait patiently to assess the situation and rationally determine the best course of action. Had they slept on it, the issue would’ve resolved itself when Moshe returned the following day. However, they felt such a burning, pressing need for immediate action that they opted for an ill-fated plan that changed the course of history (Rabbi Ozer Alport, Parsha Potpourri).
Years ago, I took a parenting workshop for young mothers. At the first session, the leader handed out a questionnaire to help us better identify our strengths and weaknesses. One question was: Are you able to solutionize? Me? Solutions? Sure! I love finding solutions!
Cranky two-year-old? Put him to bed early.
Five-year-old doesn’t want to brush her teeth? Sticker chart with shiny stars and an electric toothbrush as a bonus.
Solutions were easy for a creative, out-of-the-box personality like myself. I could patent them and make a business of it: Solutions&Resolutions@faigy.com.
We, too, have a tendency to feel we must immediately solve all our problems. This galvanizes us into making bad choices that compound the original situation and often make it worse.
Rav Yisroel Reisman notes that we often find that the Gemara raises a difficulty with no apparent resolution. Yet the Gemara moves on, as Chazal understood that not every question has an easy answer.
Similarly, when we find ourselves in challenging situations where the correct response is unclear, rather than rashly trade one set of problems for a new set, we should mentally acknowledge the difficulty, but give ourselves time to assess the issue calmly and rationally, rather than feeling compelled to rush and make an immediate decision that we’ll likely regret.
I remember when my five-year-old was petrified of Purim. The problem? All the Haman effigies that people hung out their windows — and in Yerushalayim there were many. The solution? We created our own Haman, scarecrow style, with a sheitel head and the face drawn by that child. The fact that the Haman was now his own creation took away his fear, and Purim became joyous to him again.
