“A nd his brothers couldn’t answer him because they were frightened by his presence” (Bereishis 45:3).
The Midrash (Yalkut Vayigash 247: 152) quotes Rabi Shimon ben Elazar: “‘Woe is to us from the Day of Judgment woe is to us from the Day of Rebuke.’ Yosef was the youngest of the Shevatim and his brothers couldn’t answer him because they were scared of him. How much more so [will we be frightened] when Hashem will come and rebuke each one of us according to our actions.”
Where was the rebuke in Yosef’s words? He actually only said “I am Yosef is my father still alive?” We see that the essence of rebuke isn’t words of fiery mussar. Rather rebuke is making a person realize his mistake on his own and admit it.
By saying “I am Yosef ” Yosef showed his brothers that selling him as a slave was wrong. They’d hoped to nullify his dreams but instead they brought his dreams to fruition. Showing the error in a person’s calculations is the most powerful rebuke. (Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz Sichos Mussar)
