Riddled with regret

When Shani dated her future husband, she had a feeling something wasn’t right. “There was a feeling of apprehension about our relationship that I couldn’t put my finger on,” she remembers. She spoke to several mentors about her fears and they all assured her that nerves were normal. So she went ahead and got engaged.

Not long after the wedding, Shani realized that her feelings of unease did have a basis. By that point, she was entangled in a complicated, unhappy relationship with a husband whose deep emotional scars hampered his ability to cultivate a wholesome relationship.

Shani’s story has a happy ending — she succeeded in navigating their challenging relationship toward a healthier place — but she remembers the regret that stung her during the first few rocky years.

“I constantly questioned my earlier decision and berated myself for the situation I was in,” says Shani. “I blamed myself for the unforgivable mistake of marrying the wrong man.”