Ring of Truth

There’s one area of the rabbinate where all you can rely on is help from Hashem — helping those who have just lost a loved one. I must walk a tightrope between being compassionate while at the same time maintaining a certain distance in order to facilitate the procedures necessary for a proper Jewish burial.

A number of years ago I received a call from a woman outside of Passaic who told me that her elderly mother, who lived just a few blocks from me, had passed away. The woman was very distraught and began to sob. “Rabbi, I was just called by the Passaic police that my mother is in the local morgue. The police said that to release the body I must come identify her. Can you please meet me at the Medical Examiner’s Office?”

Two hours later we met at the facility and I went in with her as she identified her mother. Her sobs filled the room. Then, the attendant asked if there was anything she wanted to have from her mother.

“What would I want to have?”

“Maybe a lock of hair to remember her?”