Screams

I shoot out of bed, heart pounding. Where am I? What day of the week is it? Is it night or morning? Have I been sleeping for two minutes or two hours?

I stumble into the baby’s room and pick her up. I look at my watch. It’s two a.m. I’ve been asleep for 15 minutes, and I haven’t slept for days. Or weeks. Or months.

Something is wrong with my baby. Something is wrong with me because I can’t fix the problem. I can’t help her. I don’t even know what’s wrong.

I go to the kitchen and switch on some calming classical music. It says, Relaxation Music for Baby. It doesn’t do anything. I bend over the baby swing and shush and rock her until she falls asleep.