Strictly Business   

“In my field, networking is everything. I need to build the contacts my parnassah depends on, but the schmoozing at a lot of these events makes me uncomfortable.”

“Navigating workplace etiquette is so tough. I was showing off a picture of my kids and a male coworker commented on how cute my family is. I wasn’t sure how to respond.”

“I had solid hashkafos, I learned concrete gedarim in seminary… until five years down the line, when I’m working in a corporate office where no one has used the word ‘Mr.’ in the past decade. How do I apply the rules I learned to this world?”

“I don’t schmooze in the office with my male coworkers… but then I got a voice note from my male coworker late at night, and felt so uncomfortable.”

We asked our readers:

You want to support your family. You want to build your career. And you want to do it all the right way.

How do you make it work?

The responses poured in — from bosses, from employees, from a number of organizations that help people navigate the workforce with tzniyus and kedushah. We heard tales of murky dilemmas, breached boundaries, uneasy interactions. But we also heard stories of spiritual splendor and quiet strength, stories that tell of a nation with fierce commitment to its principles. 

Here are their stories

Door Wide Open

“DOyou have a minute to talk?” Benzion asked.

“Sure,” I said. “Come into my office.”

I’m the manager of a department in a frum medical supplies business. Our office employs both men and women, and I like to think that we have pretty high ruchniyus standards in place. Men and women sit in separate rooms. Office events and Rosh Chodesh parties are either held separately for men and women, or with very separate seating. Many, if not most, staff members use “Rabbi” or “Mr.” or “Mrs.” when addressing the opposite gender, and the women will cut short any schmoozing about recipes or shopping when a man enters the room.

As a manager, I try to maintain an open-door policy. I want my team to know that I’m here to help them do their best work, and they’re welcome to stop in my office or pop me an email when any questions come up. And I think it’s healthy and positive when a female colleague’s work question occasionally develops into a conversation about mothering tips or Pesach cleaning.

Still, I try to project an air of professionalism when interacting with my male colleagues. I want to be approachable and available for any questions or concerns, but still somewhat crisp and reserved so the conversation stays focused on work.