“This is a two-sided issue. Parents need to let go, and children need to become independent”
I found your panel discussion on parental assistance during shanah rishonah quite intriguing. As someone who got married and didn’t have the benefit of living near family (and still don’t), I’m very much opposed to the idea of a parent being that involved in their married children’s lives. I believe it borders on codependency.
In my humble opinion, if one is old enough to establish a home, one is old enough to make Shabbos and weeknight dinners.
The first year of marriage is a very pivotal one in which a husband and wife get to know each other and set the tone for the rest of their lives. If it starts off relying on parents for basic needs such as Shabbos meals, what does that say for how the rest of their marriage will evolve?
Parents won’t always be there to help you in a bind. It’s a luxury if they can, but shouldn’t be the standard. Spending the occasional Shabbos meal with family is something that should be done as long as it doesn’t impede the growth of the marital relationship.
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