Everyone receives negative feedback. Correction and criticism are part of life. “Hold the pencil this way not that way.” “Say ‘please’ when you want something.” “Please lower your voice.” From the time we are tiny to the time we are old we will be receiving various forms of negative feedback. And we’ll never like it.
Human beings are success-oriented. Failure threatens our survival: Not being able to run fast enough save enough food form relationships make a living or otherwise function well can pose serious risks to our future. Failure feels unpleasant and we therefore try to avoid it at all costs. Try as we might however we will inevitably bump up against many failures and mistakes. We will get it wrong time and time again.
Often we’ll be called on it — called to account for our inadequate performance. “Why did you spend so much money when you knew we were running low?” “Why didn’t you watch the timer like I asked you to? Now dinner is ruined!” “When you scream like that none of us here like you very much.” Not only will we mess things up but we’ll be criticized for doing so. How should we respond?
Form or Content?
Often those who deliver negative feedback do so in a less than satisfactory manner. Due to lack of skill or emotional upset or both they may be unduly harsh unkind loud insulting or hurtful in other ways. They may say way too much and much too often. They may attack personality instead of the issue at hand. In short they may make the process of receiving negative feedback a thousandfold more unpleasant than it needs to be. However there is nothing that the receiver can do about that. Negative feedback will arrive in whatever package it arrives in. It is up to the receiver to respond appropriately.
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