I encourage a small reframe, which can lead to giant changes: Don’t aim for control, aim to take charge
Shira Savit
“I need to have more self-control.” Women who want to lose weight or feel better about their eating often target their lack of control as the culprit, and I hear this a lot. I encourage a small reframe, which can lead to giant changes: Don’t aim for control, aim to take charge.
Being in control and being in charge sound very similar, but the differences have profound ramifications for our relationship with food and self. To explore why, let’s look at these simple dictionary definitions:
Control connotes strictness, rules, and discipline, and is often associated with willpower. Willpower can be an important trait, but it’s a limited resource — meaning, we run out of it. If we spend the whole day trying to convince ourselves that we need to have more willpower — actually, more “won’t power” (i.e., I won’t eat the sugar, carbs, white flour, etc.) — we end up depleting our willpower storage house, like a battery that runs out of charge.
Guess what happens when there’s no battery life left? We crash, and have no momentum to push harder. One common cause of late afternoon/nighttime overeating or bingeing is that our willpower has been depleted. We’re drained. We feel like giving up. How many times can we tell ourselves not to eat something throughout the day?
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