The Analyst: Part II

Mother: When Jack was growing up I thought his help was a nuisance. I could do everything easier and quicker myself. But I’ve created a monster — he expects to have everything done for him.

Father: Maybe it’s not such a good idea to bring Jack in as assistant VP. I think working his way up the company will be good for him.

Jack: I didn’t realize relationships were so complicated!

At Jack’s next session, I define empathy: “Empathy means sharing others’ feelings.”

“They feel sad, I should make myself sad?”

“Not exactly. If someone you care about feels sad, you show empathy by taking action that shows you care. You have two goals: to tune into their feelings, and if they’re feeling down, to figure out what would make them feel better [ Before we can address traits like empathy, Jack needs to learn to pay attention to other people. Right now, he doesn’t know enough about others to empathize with them].

“How should I know what they’re feeling?”