"Wherever there is unique potential for the good, there is also unequaled potential for harm"
What makes the alternate place a better fit for his character or schedule? If it’s better because it’s the type of place where he can comfortably come late and schmooze and no one will bother him, well, then he would certainly gain more davening alongside his father — by waking up early and schmoozing less. And then I agree.
But if the son prefers a different shul simply because it’s a better fit for him —because the attendees are his ilk, and the davening style appeals to him — that’s a different story. People generally daven better when they are comfortable and at peace. So, then I would disagree.
But on second thought, these benefits have to be weighed against the advantages of davening with one’s father. What are they? Pride and identity.
When chinuch works well, a child is proud of his father and family, and he embraces his family’s culture as his own identity. He tells himself: I am a Yekkeh, a yeshivah man, a Bobov 45 or a Bobov 48, etc. All these self-identities are healthy. They confer on the young man a place in Yiddishkeit, a culture and a value system. Davening with one’s father greatly enhances this feeling of tradition.
Create a free account to keep reading.
